This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says,
"I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."
The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have any money.... and I must get a message to her, it's urgent!... I'll do anything to get a message to her."
The clerk replies "Anything?".
"Yes.... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.
He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. "Unzip me..." She does. "Take it out..... go ahead." She does this as well. She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead.. do it.." She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?.... Mom?"
The Corporate Ladder:
When Development Engineers go out together on a week-end they talk about football.
When Middle management are together, they talk about tennis.
Top management discusses golf.
Conclusion: The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls are.
A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when they noticed a whaling ship. The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father many years earlier. He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over and sink." They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.
Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were swimming to the safety of shore. The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female, "Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."
At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him. "Look," she said, "I went along with the blow job, but I absolutely refuse to swallow the seamen."
Turkulainen lähti myymään lammastansa Tampereelle. Hän pakkasi lampaan auton takapaksiin ja ajoi manseen.
Perillä löytyi ostajaehdokas, mutta lammas olikin pahus tukehtunut paksiin.
- Enhän mä tällaista voi ostaa. eihän tämä edes määi enää, sanoi tamperelainen.
- Kyl määki turuus, vastasi turkulainen.
Miksi tamperelainen veti käteen Imatran valtionhotellin aulassa?
- Portsari sanoi, että nyt sie menet ulos !!
Kesälomareissulla sattui silmään kyltti jossa luki: "Myytävänä perunaa. Timo Siikli." Jäimme miettimään, keistä kaikista Siiklin perhe mahtoi koostua. Varmaankin sieltä löytyi ainakin rehevä emäntä Rosamunda Siikli ja sutjakka puikulavartaloinen tytär Sabina Siikli.
Viime aikoina on taas Suomessa palauteltu mieliin vuoden 18 kiistanalaisia tapahtumia. Niin, itse asiassa, mitä merkittävää vuonna 18 todella tapahtui? No, ainakin Jeesus sai vissiin silloin ajokortin...
Tässä taannoin rakennusalan ammattilainen, sekatyömies Lunkreeni kyseli, että löytyisikö MikroKamarista vanhaan 386:een vielä semmoisia rossipohjaisia ohjelmia.
Miten mitataan blondin älykkyysosamäärä?
Korvasta rengaspainemittarilla.
Mitä yhteistä on blondilla ja V8-moottorilla?
- Kumpikin imee satasella paljon.
Muusikon pohdiskelua: "Jeesus kyllä sovitti syntimme, mutta kuka ne oikein sävelsi?"
